The Panchutantra Manual of surviving a holding company merger
A tongue-in-cheek survival guide for agency folk navigating the chaos, confusion and comedy of holding-company mergers.
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Ten sutras from the Republic of Advertising, India
1. The Sutra of Flexible Identity
When the merger happens, immediately embrace your new spiritual name. Yesterday you were TBWA. Today you are Lintas TBWA OmnicOMG Collective. Tomorrow you might be DDBBBDOFCTBWALintas. Stay fluid. Brand architecture is temporary; salaries are eternal.
2. The Sutra of Dual (and Trial) Reporting
When asked who you report to, answer confidently: “It depends.” If they ask again, say: “Matrixed.” This word has saved more careers than awards. And if you have a dotted line reporting, you have truly arrived. Even condoms will tell you that dotted lines are more fun.
3. The Sutra of Deck Worship
The first seven days post-merger are devoted to the creation of decks. Your true religion is PowerPoint. Bow to the deck. Respect the deck. Never question why the deck has seven versions titled “Final.”
4. The Sutra of Cultural Blending
The HR slide will proclaim: “Two Cultures, One Future.” Practise nodding wisely while secretly asking yourself: “Can disruption and consolidation really coexist on a mandala?”
Spoiler: They cannot. But the snacks at the workshop will be excellent.
5. The Sutra of Client Management
When the client asks, “Will anything change for my brand?” Respond with the sacred line: “Only for the better, sir.” They don’t want the truth. You don’t know the truth. This is perfect harmony. If in doubt, offer them a 20% discount.
6. The Sutra of Old Bosses and New Bosses
Your old boss will not go away. Your new boss will not fully arrive. Your regional boss will send inspirational quotes. Your global boss will ask for decks. This is the eternal cycle. Accept it. Better if you can get the bosses talk to each other and in that process forget you.
7. The Sutra of the Planners Who Wander
Planners will walk the hallways holding mandalas, onions, pyramids and archetypes, mumbling things like: “Disruption inside legacy or legacy inside disruption?” Do not interrupt them. They are the forest saints of this kingdom.
8. The Sutra of Pretending to Know What’s Going On
Whenever anyone says “synergy,” “integration,” or “shared vision,” repeat it back with a half-smile, half-sigh. This creates the illusion of understanding. No one actually understands anything. This is the beauty of advertising.
9. The Sutra of Career Self-Preservation
In every merger, two tribes emerge:
• Those who update their LinkedIn first • Those who update it correctly
Be in Tribe 2. Nothing screams stability like “Part of the Global Leadership Council (Interim, Aligned, Matrixed)”.
10. The Sutra of The Eternal Indian Truth
In India, mergers do not transform talent, culture, or output. They transform one thing and one thing only: Email signatures. When your new signature is longer than your job description, you have truly survived the merger.
Prasoon Joshi, Aditya Kanthy to spearhead Omnicom’s new India charter
